Changing my sexual orientation.?

So I am changing my sexual orientation i think. All my life I have have crushes on girls and been sexually attracted to them. When i was 12 i saw my first naked woman and i puked i was so horny. All that went on till I was 17. Everything was normal, and i became really self concious of my looks. I started looking to other men to see what made them attractive and eventiually i was able to go around being like "those are good lookin dudes". Then one day I randomly asked "does this make me gay?". And I think it kind of does. Like i can notice all the appealing men. Same with naked men. I have never been aroused by a man... The only time was when i was 16 and i saw a guy with a big **** and i was like i wish that was me... And that was like only a tiny bit of arousal... I had a lot of anxiety that day as well. My life was not good at all and I wonder if i was just aroused because of the boatload of anxiety... because I came out immediately (i dont think my parents believe me)...so i try and watch male strips and masturbation videos but im not aroused. I jsut get this odd feeling down there like when your going to the doctor for a check up and your trying not to get aroused. After awhile, watching naked men didnt even get my that feeling. I just look at them at how i want to model myself. I have a hard time getting aroused. If i try and watch gay porn, im kind of grossed out and cant really get a *****. So i watched some straight porn and got a ***** and went back to the gay porn and was able to orgasm. It was not an amazing orgasm. The seamen just kind of oozed out. I also dont know how to be emotionally attracted to a man. Like, i still want to hold a pretty girl and smell her and feel her soft skin. What am I doing wrong? I watched straight porn for the first time in awhile and had an amazing orgasm and blasted everywhere. and then fell down i was like woah. I dont really want to go down on a man. I mean it doesnt arouse me and like it seems boring... And somewhat gross but hey i have a penis too so penis's cant be gross. And i cant really imagine myself "making love" to a man. I mean, there would be no emotional connection. Like i would love to pleasure a hot girl with beautiful eyes, and a wet vagina. But im gay. I dont know if im doing something wrong. I may have liked girls earlier in my life but not anymore. Any tips on how to enjoy the gay life?